Our Begining...

Our Begining...

Saturday, January 15, 2011

"In This Flesh No Good Thing Dwells"

"I thank my God, making mention of thee always in my prayers, Hearing of thy love and faith, which thou hast toward the Lord Jesus, and toward all saints; That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus. For we have great joy and consolation in thy love, because the bowels of the saints are refreshed by thee..."
Philemon 1:4-7

I read this scripture today and I was so confronted. Confronted with the thought that in this flesh-no good thing dwells-ALL that is good within me-is ONLY because of Christ and His goodness-because I am found in Him. Vanity, Vanity all is Vanity and chasing after the wind..." I am a mere mortal-imperfect-made in the image of Christ-being sanctified by Christ-therefor perfect because of His righteousness-NOT MY OWN-created for good works-HIS works.
I was so grieved with my ways-my motives began to stare me in the face...Here I am an artist-waiting for the inspiration of the Lord for my work...and I have found myself trying and doing all I can-to make a buck-and in this tailspin of desperation-people become merchandise...gracious...The Lord is hitting me as I write...He went in and turned the tables of the money changers in the temple-screaming-"Stop making my Father's house a marketplace!" People were being used for covetous monetary gain...believers were coming to the temple to make sacrifices to God, but instead of bringing the animals they owned from home-the one they had raised, befriended and fed ...they were purchasing a random animals to sacrifice to God from a salesman in the temple...an animal that meant nothing to them and was worth nothing but a couple coins...
People became merchandise for selfish and covetous gain-again, in 2 Peter 2-the whole chapter nails it again-verse 3, "And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgement now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not."
Wow, there is no way around it-I MUST die to every dream and desire I have and allow it to be put through the fire of the Lord and His will...yes, He may move me-us in a direction with business or provision financially -but there must be a constant death to money-the love of money is the ROOT of all evil...
In the words of Solomon, "He that hastens to be rich shall not be innocent."
Materialism, what can I get??? What do I THINK I need-trying to keep up with what society says is beautiful and what I must have or I'm nothing..it is an extremely powerful pull on me-I admit...I have to fight for contentment-the Word says, "Godliness with contentment is GREAT gain"...

With all this said, I want to present all that I put my hand to do, as a sacrifice of praise unto the Lord-allow Christ to move through me-that I may edify and minister Christ to all I come into contact with...that my friends and acquaintances would be cherished as much loved souls and divine appointments in my life-to sow the Love of Jesus in their hearts-that they may be refreshed by my life..."coming together singing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs, singing with praise in our hearts to the Lord."
I am created with the purpose to bring all glory to the name of Christ-whatever beauty or talent I may posses-it was endowed to me by the Almighty...Do I recognize this? What will I do with what he has bestowed-will I die to it that He may posses it and resurrect it for His glorification? or will I keep it to my self for my purpose-for my gain-for my glorification? This is very confronting.

I sincerely apologize to you all-yes, I have had selfish, covetous motives in my business posts at times-I confess-trying to gain more for my family-in a frenzy-instead of waiting on the Lord to give the increase in His time. Anxious. I repent,and I pray for a daily repentance from this stronghold that I face. I desire a heart of sincerity and love for the brethren...and I pray you all will be ministered to as a result of my testimony of sorrow for my blindness.

A precious sister in the Lord sent me this text and nailed it:
' "There is one who pretends to be rich, but has nothing; Another pretends to be poor, but has great wealth." Lord, please let us be like the latter!!'

I am rich in Christ. He knows my need and wear I lack-and if He decides to leave me in a place where I "Think" I am lacking-it is only for my good-He is teaching me character and stability in Him-He is my sufficiency...we are to be satisfied with food and raiment alone...but if He decides to bless me- I always want to remember-"If riches increase do not set your heart on them."

Jesus gives the increase in all I do. I want my work and creativity to magnify His name-to all who have eyes to see for those to be served by Christ and increased in their faith and revelation of His great love for their souls. Oh God, let me be a vessel of honor used for the purpose of Your glory.

I love you all. Forgive Me.

Les Lea Jarriel-Ellison

"Sanctified" is the picture I posted with this blog-it is a self portrait the Lord graced me with 7 years ago.

Thursday, January 21, 2010


so, I 've been going to the gym-busting to get back to the pre-baby weight and pre-birhtcontrol weight(which I'll NEVER use again)............at the gym, and I am so IN PAIN going to stretch before spinning class-----go in and the Silver Sneakers class is just fininshing and letting out-so I just sit and stretch my body and I am watching all of these little white haired old men and women, and they are so fragile and precious...they're in there just keeping themselves in motion-it's like they're just thankful to have made it thus far and thankful to have a nother day of health and the ability to even come to a class to meet little friends and fellowship and have fun....precious...then today, I go to the nursing home/rehabilitation center to visit my Granny and I sat with her at dinner-precious...played puzzle with Papa for about an hour and a 1/2-pitiful-----then my mom invites us to dinner-because dad is driving-wonderful time with her and hubby and the children----then I watch mom pay for our food...then she goes to purchase 3 york pepermints, as she holds Salah in her arms and I see her counting out her change, with her beautiful gray hair---and I just about lost it...!*****....just so precious...so emotional over life and how precious it is...fragile. We are fading, all of us, it's like I can't handle the thought of age and loss-I really have to give all my emotions to the Lord-He knows what I'm feeling-but I was just so overwhelmed with love and compassion for my mother and family and everything! We don't have much by this society's standards-but great day-I know the Lord has given me so much-He opens my eyes to reality all the time, and it's painful-and I am so GREATFUL-I do not want to be blind...we're fading and He is all that matters and His love in us for Him and others...even those that rub us way wrong-Lord deal with me! I need Him...He's so gracious to me-us...I want to serve Him...temporal THINGS do not matter-----------------when are we going ot get it?! We have them to give-not to boaste...............too much.....*********People are dying-babies are dying-eternity is at stake......................and we're concerned about what we're going to wear to a baby shower and how people are going to see us and what they'll think about our clothes and weight gain and wrinkles-the car we drive where we live.......children are malnutritioned and starving and in genuine need and we're dealing with obesity and materialism........Lord help me-----***** If we-I only realized how broken and naked we-I really are/am...

True religion is visiting and bearing the burdens of widows and orphans in their grief and afflictions...

Matthew 25

"As you have done it unto the least of these-you've done it unto ME"-Jesus

Monday, December 28, 2009

How much do I love my children..................................ugh..........there really are no words to express my love for them...it's infinite......and the man that blessed me with his love to spill over and have them! Wow, the Lord is so amazing to me...the Lord opens and closes the womb...all golry to Him.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

He is Wonderful...

wow...even though we did not have much this Christmas-what we did have was absolutlely priceless...my husband, children and family...I believe this was my most favorite Christmas-even though I cannot really pin down exactly why? Unfortunatly my dad was unable to spend it with us, having the swine flu and other family circumstances seperated our other side-but it ended up being truely wonderful...I have to say I was more thankful and greatful this year than maybe ever before-I guess realizing the value of the human soul and how daily we take life for granted...I see so keenly the reality of how life is a vapor-it's truely hard to face at times. It breaks my heart to know, we're not going to live on this earth with each other forever-but there was a verse I read yesterday at my Granny's house...

"The path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more unto the perfect day." Proverbs 4:18

I read that and it just really sunk in...I mean let's be honest, we are all afraid of aging and gettin old and passing...but, we have this hope that the Lord is going to finish the work He has begun in us until the day of Jesus Christ-like a dear friend told me, age is just the grace of the Lord upon us to show us we are fragile and our lives are fleeting-he gives us another day yes, we may have wrinkles and gray hairs but it's the glory of the Lord that we are alive-we are still on this planet for a purpose which He has prepared and we will be here until He is finished using us how He sees fit-so another day of agespots and arthritis is His graciousness in our lives for us to glorify His name-even in suffering...
lol, I was standing at my grandmothers kitchen sink early that day and I was washing a load of dishes and my hands have been so irritated with a rash from soap and cleaning all the time, cracking, bleeding, having issues like I may have carpal tunnel in my wrists----but I was sitting there and washing the dishes in a little pain-and it hit me-I believe it was the Holy Spirit just communing with me as I served my family in cleaning up the kitchen...that the Lord gave me this body I am in-these members-arms,legs, fingers, hands, ect. to use for His glory-to bring Him glory-and as long as I am able I want to serve Him and my family in whatever capacity I can-and I was thankful to even be able to function-to do the task...it was so sweet, I just want to cry writing this...but it was like this all day yesterday, the Lord was giving me moments of revelation and insight into HIs word...it was so WONDERFUL---haha, HE is wonderful, Counselor, MIGHTY God, Prince of Peace-EVERLASTING FATHER! Wow, HE was SHOWING ME CHRISTMAS-ON CHRISTMAS-HIMSELF-Jesus! Wow, Isaiah 9:6!!! Thank you Jesus, this is exactly what we heard Sunday morning before Christmas-Bro. Steve Whitcomb----Jesus is amazing---sorry it's just so funny because everything is just clicking within me as I write-it's just how the Lord is---Wonderful...tear*...It was an amazing day-of revelation and sweet communion with the Lord unlike I've ever known on Christmas---I believe it came through serving and being still-all at the same time...becoming low and doing what no one else wanted to do DISHES-humbling myself and the Lord served me...with bread I knew not of...

"Blessed are those servants, whom the Lord when He cometh He find watching: verily I say unto you, that He shall gird Himself, and make them to sit down to meat, and will come forth and serve them." Luke 12:37

Wow...amazing...Jesus is so good to us.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

These are the special times...

take a look back............just a year ago-there are no words and precious isn' t good enough....but here we are...............................my, my...................tear* I sit here and I am just realizing life is so fragile...and it's not about me......ha, that's a real selfish statement! But it's not...I read a friends statement about her Christmas and how things were different this year because she is prego with a almost three year old and she is on bedrest......unable to do everything she normally does on Christmas.....or spend any money this year, because there is only one income and they don't make enough for extra with her on bedrest.......she said she's really, for the first time, realizing what Christmas is all about-not the hussell and bussell of the holidays or buying those gifts out of obligation and going in debt...it's about her family and her little girl-teaching her Jesus and the true meaning of Christmas-Jesus-and her Husband and loving and serving them...wow, I am just really put in a place of-what am I going to do? Am I going to continue to just go through MY motions the things I love, my traditions-or thought were more important-or am I going to STOP and focus on Jesus and what He has given me this wonderful Christmas season and every day for that matter-and really hoan in on my family-my little family unit, making memories with them out of selflessness------------it's not about me anymore it's about my children who've never known the joys of Christmas and my husband who has really lost everything as far as family who is in real need of some attention and focus from his wife-------------------it's time for action...breaking the mold...Jesus help me show my family you have destined me to have your love and joy this Christmas season...that we may focus on You....Jesus

Booza Queen!

I love the BOOZA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!