Monday, December 28, 2009
How much do I love my children..................................ugh..........there really are no words to express my love for them...it's infinite......and the man that blessed me with his love to spill over and have them! Wow, the Lord is so amazing to me...the Lord opens and closes the womb...all golry to Him.
Saturday, December 26, 2009
wow...even though we did not have much this Christmas-what we did have was absolutlely priceless...my husband, children and family...I believe this was my most favorite Christmas-even though I cannot really pin down exactly why? Unfortunatly my dad was unable to spend it with us, having the swine flu and other family circumstances seperated our other side-but it ended up being truely wonderful...I have to say I was more thankful and greatful this year than maybe ever before-I guess realizing the value of the human soul and how daily we take life for granted...I see so keenly the reality of how life is a vapor-it's truely hard to face at times. It breaks my heart to know, we're not going to live on this earth with each other forever-but there was a verse I read yesterday at my Granny's house...
"The path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more unto the perfect day." Proverbs 4:18
I read that and it just really sunk in...I mean let's be honest, we are all afraid of aging and gettin old and passing...but, we have this hope that the Lord is going to finish the work He has begun in us until the day of Jesus Christ-like a dear friend told me, age is just the grace of the Lord upon us to show us we are fragile and our lives are fleeting-he gives us another day yes, we may have wrinkles and gray hairs but it's the glory of the Lord that we are alive-we are still on this planet for a purpose which He has prepared and we will be here until He is finished using us how He sees fit-so another day of agespots and arthritis is His graciousness in our lives for us to glorify His name-even in suffering...
lol, I was standing at my grandmothers kitchen sink early that day and I was washing a load of dishes and my hands have been so irritated with a rash from soap and cleaning all the time, cracking, bleeding, having issues like I may have carpal tunnel in my wrists----but I was sitting there and washing the dishes in a little pain-and it hit me-I believe it was the Holy Spirit just communing with me as I served my family in cleaning up the kitchen...that the Lord gave me this body I am in-these members-arms,legs, fingers, hands, ect. to use for His glory-to bring Him glory-and as long as I am able I want to serve Him and my family in whatever capacity I can-and I was thankful to even be able to function-to do the task...it was so sweet, I just want to cry writing this...but it was like this all day yesterday, the Lord was giving me moments of revelation and insight into HIs word...it was so WONDERFUL---haha, HE is wonderful, Counselor, MIGHTY God, Prince of Peace-EVERLASTING FATHER! Wow, HE was SHOWING ME CHRISTMAS-ON CHRISTMAS-HIMSELF-Jesus! Wow, Isaiah 9:6!!! Thank you Jesus, this is exactly what we heard Sunday morning before Christmas-Bro. Steve Whitcomb----Jesus is amazing---sorry it's just so funny because everything is just clicking within me as I write-it's just how the Lord is---Wonderful...tear*...It was an amazing day-of revelation and sweet communion with the Lord unlike I've ever known on Christmas---I believe it came through serving and being still-all at the same time...becoming low and doing what no one else wanted to do DISHES-humbling myself and the Lord served me...with bread I knew not of...
"Blessed are those servants, whom the Lord when He cometh He find watching: verily I say unto you, that He shall gird Himself, and make them to sit down to meat, and will come forth and serve them." Luke 12:37
Wow...amazing...Jesus is so good to us.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
take a look back............just a year ago-there are no words and precious isn' t good enough....but here we are...............................my, my...................tear* I sit here and I am just realizing life is so fragile...and it's not about me......ha, that's a real selfish statement! But it's not...I read a friends statement about her Christmas and how things were different this year because she is prego with a almost three year old and she is on bedrest......unable to do everything she normally does on Christmas.....or spend any money this year, because there is only one income and they don't make enough for extra with her on bedrest.......she said she's really, for the first time, realizing what Christmas is all about-not the hussell and bussell of the holidays or buying those gifts out of obligation and going in debt...it's about her family and her little girl-teaching her Jesus and the true meaning of Christmas-Jesus-and her Husband and loving and serving them...wow, I am just really put in a place of-what am I going to do? Am I going to continue to just go through MY motions the things I love, my traditions-or thought were more important-or am I going to STOP and focus on Jesus and what He has given me this wonderful Christmas season and every day for that matter-and really hoan in on my family-my little family unit, making memories with them out of selflessness------------it's not about me anymore it's about my children who've never known the joys of Christmas and my husband who has really lost everything as far as family who is in real need of some attention and focus from his wife-------------------it's time for action...breaking the mold...Jesus help me show my family you have destined me to have your love and joy this Christmas season...that we may focus on You....Jesus
Monday, December 21, 2009
wow, how life is a vapor...you wake up in the morning -you run and gun all day and before you know it- it's the evening and time to go to bed...where did the day go? My children are growing right before my eyes and I can hardly stand it...it breaks my heart that I am unable to go back and recapture moments during the day when I shoud have just stopped what I was doing and read just one more book with Salah or had one more little cup of tea with her and her new tea set...the little things...or sit there another 15 minuts with Kadesh as he just gazes into my eyes-as if to say, momma just hold me, just love on me a little longer momma...he clinches me all the time wanting my full attention and just giggles at me talking as good as he can...precious moments the Lord has been SO gracious to give me...I am in such desperate need of Him...to STOP long enough as they say "to smell the roses"...time is fleeting and yes, moments are passing? What matters the most...? My heart seriously breaks whenever I look back at the days I have wasted...time is precious...very precious....thie Lord is nigh you even upon your lips...those of you He's given precious little ones...soak up every moment...they will be too grown one day to grab and kiss till they squeal or laugh at just plain silliness...live every day as a gift from the Lord-never taken for granted;)